StoryBook

I've only read three books that I ever actually took seriously enough to mention. Although I have read many these three stick out like a pair of red bottom stilettos. The first book was entitled The Devil In Disguise. When I first saw it it intrigued me. The cover was everything I needed to see to even determine whether or not I was even going to waste my time opening & reading it. It wasn't the finest I had ever seen but it seemed a little rough around the edges. Just like I like them. So I took a chance & read. I was open off the first page. The words didn't say too much but still I was gone. Maybe because I was young & I didn't know any better. But you couldn't tell me nothing. That was the best book I had ever read....UNTIL the plot made a turn for the worst. All of a sudden the words made me feel beat up & hurt. I was waking up with bruises on me, head pounding & I was just living with no sense of who I was. I mean I was being dragged through the mud by this book. Sick to my stomach, gaining weight, losing weight. Pregnant, not pregnant. All types of drama. Too much for a 18 year old girl to be going through. But one day I got some strength out of nowhere. I don't really remember praying about it but somebody had to be praying for me. What I do remember is a gun at my stomach & scared tears streaming down my face & I vowed that this would be the last time I would let The Devil In Disguise fuck with me. Then a knock at the door. The police saved me and me & that book parted ways. I never saw it again.
I didn't get a chance to fully recover from The Devil In Disguise before I came across another book. The cover on this one was a little different but the titles were quite similar. But, I convinced myself that this one would not have the same ending. The Disguise of the Curious seemed more sincere. It was filled with pages of promises, dreams & something called love. This book actually loved me back. The only thing that stood me between me & it was another reader. She had a bond with it that was tighter than the one we had simply because of what they shared. Able to be convinced that this relationship was a thing of the past...I made the ultimate commitment with The Disguise of the Curious. I was convinced that this plot was the one I fit perfectly into. I was wrong yet again. The plot became thicker than it ever got in the The Devil In Disguise. Instead of being bruised physically my heart felt as if a million bricks were being dumped on it when all types of secrets came to the light. All the promises, dreams & love came to a halt &it was over. On June 9th, 2008 I signed the papers that made things official although the story had ended a whole year prior. After being beat down yet again I read here & there but never got serious or interested too much in anyone's plot. That is until I crossed paths with yet another interesting, attractive story.
I had ran across this one before but I knew it was way too advanced for my reading level. So when I would see it, I would just smile & imagine what the words on those pages said. The cover was very appealing. Finer than any of the other books I ever saw. The pages were thicker, the ink was more delicate, and the story seemed way more complex. I was told that he had many readers before & I should be very careful before picking it up because I could easily get caught up & never want to put it down. But the title No More Disguises had me more open than I had ever been. The more time I spent turning pages, reading, bonding & getting to know this book, I realized the the words were written clearly. What you see is what you get. I didn't have to figure out what the words meant. I didn't have to grab my dictionary and analyze anything. Nothing was a disguise. Instead there was a pure bond there. I became a part of the story instead of just another character. Now it's getting deeper and I have to make a decision. Is the story of my life written within his pages? I feel loved by a friend and a partner in him. I'm blessed with two children by him. His soul is connected to mine and our hearts beat on the same accord. I may look at other books & the thought may even cross my mind to open one & read it but the heart can be stronger than the mind & currently my heart has a resting place in him.
This is the book I like, love & adore. A story I can learn to live with. It's nowhere near perfect but consist of no abuse, no disguises, no secret plot. Just smiles & raw unconditional love.

"No More Disguises"

Do Something About It

I'm broke, I wish I had another car, I can't find a husband, my kids are off the chain, I need to lose weight, I can't find a job, my baby daddy won't help take care of his kids. Everybody's got problems. Everybody faces trials & tribulations! Your not the only one in this world that may have said one of these phrases before. Their is a such thing called THE DEVIL. He is petty. He comes in all forms, shapes, & sizes. He definitely doesn't like to see anybody happy & he will stop at nothing to bring you down. When you dwell on & complain about your situation, guess what? You are pleasing THE DEVIL to the fullest. One thing he doesn't like is when you build a relationship with his enemy (God). So he is going to test you from every angle and try his best to get you on HIS team.
Don't join that team. Do something about your situation! Pray.

A New Attitude

How many times have I awaken and wasn't happy about what I did yesterday? Too many times to count. How many times have I had regrets about things that it's too late to change? Numerous. That's because I am not perfect. You are not perfect. No one is perfect. No matter how good you look, how bad your body is, how many friends you have or how much you go to church...YOU ARE NOT PERFECT! I am still dealing with this truth. Though I have come to realize being perfect is only something I can strive for I still struggle with trying to be perfect for others. The key to avoiding the "perfect" persona is to love & trust God enough to help you to become that person. By no means does that mean you have to turn into a holy saint overnight. Remember the old saying "practice make perfect." A prophet in the form of a friend spoke to me last night and opened my eyes to things I have slowly began to hide from people & from myself. "Kelly, how much do YOU LOVE YOU?" The prophet asked, and although my tongue wanted to answer "I LOVE ME ALOT", I could not let those false words escape my mouth. It takes a confident person to love them self alot & although my self confidence level may appear high it is not. Too often I worry about what other people may think of me. I try to hard to please others & sometimes I even find myself being a follower instead of the leader I was born to be. Again, you can be shocked all you want but this is me & my truth. Had I not heard the words from this prophet this blog may be filled with white lies to cover who I want you to think I am. So at 3:00 a.m this morning I decided it's time. Time to start having faith in me! Time for a new attitude, a new walk (figuratively speaking), a new mind set, a new love for myself! I can't expect the man laying next to me to love me the way I want him to if I'm doubting me! I can't expect a change to happen if I'm not willing to change! So...here we go. I began with a heartfelt prayer. After that I felt a ton of bricks being lifted off my shoulders. Next I began to think about what it is that I don't like about me & making decisions about how I am going to change it. This is going to be an ongoing process. I'm being granted the serenity to change things I want to be different & the strength to either accept the things I can't change or to "man up" & let it go. My new attitude begins today! Now do me a favor & check yourself! Are you all together? Is your house clean? Is your mind focused? Do you love you? Maybe you need a new attitude too...